Ten excerpts from the book "Trips of the President"
The book was written by two journalists - Eduardo Scolese (from newspaper "Folha de São Paulo") and Leonencio Nossa (from "O Estado de São Paulo") that works in the Planalto Palace Press Comitteeque (a pool of journalists that cover internal affairs of the government).
These episodes occurred tenths of times along the book that covers some of the 423 (! Yes, four-hundred-twenty-three!) Lula´s trips from 2003 until past april, out of 91 of them were to foreign countries. During 36 months of government, Lula has visited, an avarage of one city in each four day.
1. In the international trips, when he was beginning the return to Brazil, Lula used to call the Minister (Foreign Affairs) Celsoduring and an Air Force official to his cabinet where, with the help of a big World Map, plans his next international trips. The routine in these cases is to ask Amorim on the countries´ features and to the military he asks about technical issues involving flight scales, shortcuts and so on.
2. In a hot afternoon, President Lula was sweating, kissing and hugging admirers in a small northeastern city and asked a towell, urgently. The president´s assessor heard it and went off , in a clumsy and slow way. Lula, bothered replied: " Look the big ass ('bundão' in Brazil means a lazy & incompetent pesron). There goes the big ass to pick me up a towell" . Nobody cared. Lula´s government was much initiated but the disregardness for good manners was a routine on the Planalto Palace.
3. " Where are the fucking folders?" Madly shouted the President. The assessor tried to apologize. The President acted like a beast, raising his voice in front of all the crew. In a red rage he screamed at the employee: "How did'nt you bring me the folders, You imcompetent?!
4. "Got it? I don´t have bachelor degree, but those who brings the papers for me, have it... All of them have it." , said Lula to a minister, after receiving a speech from the hands of an assessor.
5. During an audience with the minister of the environment - Marina Silva - in a time when the government begun to discuss the transposition of the part of the stream of the São Francisco river (north-northeast), the president heard carefully the pro-con arguments. After heard them, Lula advised the minister:
- " Marina, this environment stuff is just like prostate examen. You can´t keep virgin for the rest of your life. There will be a time that they will put their fingers into our asses. So, camarade, if they have to ram it in you, do it as soon as you can".
6. At the end of his first year, Lula gone to Egypt and visited the Cairo Museum. His first comment occurred when it was informed that the Tutankhamon pharaoph tomb was the only one - among the tombs of the Egyptian Emperors - that resisted the tomb raiders attacks.
- "Look since when the organized crime has been active!"
Following his husband, the fisrt-lady Mariza gave his appreciation on the information that Egyptian must had to follow seventy commandments, not just ten:
- "Imagine it, seventy... Is a lot of sin!"
7. Lula, during a trip to Japan, to an assessor that wanted to inform him on the Parlamentary Commision of Investigation (CPI) of the National Post Office affair, on that day: " Let me tell you something, my dear. If you have to give bad news to a comrade, don´t do it at night, for Christ sake. If it´s past nine o´clock , the first thing is that there will not have enough time to solve anything that day. The second is that you would be going to spoil the rest of the comrade. He will not spleep that night with that thing hammering on his head".
The president dropped another one: - " Oh, and please do not give bad news in the morning too. Don´t give it. Don´t give it. It will make the comrade to begin the day in a huge bad humor. It is horrible."
8. During a trip to Bolivia, January, 2006, Lula got irritated after reading a newspaper article that pointed out some faults in the agrarian politics of the Federal Government: - " (We) must have to tell this guy to fuck his ass. We raise the contracts on familiar agriculture, make an agrarian reformation with quality and we invest in the agri-business. Do we have to read this?"
-Noting the assessor´s silence, Lula goes further:
- "In this case there´s no way, my dear, there´s no way. We must tell him to fuck his ass, indeed. There´s no other way."
9. During a private movie session, in the Alvorada Palace, in the rare times that the President concedes to talk with senators and deputies he was questioned - in a well-humoured way -by senator Ana Julia, from Worker´s Party of the state of Para:
--President, tell us. What is really going on between you and the Governor of Sergipe, João Alves?
- " I always wanted to fuck João Alves. I already did arrengements with everybody else there, with Albano Franco, with Almeida Lima. I deal with anybody to fuck João Alves. I want to fuck that one anyway. "
10. In a presidential suite room of a hotel in Georgetown, after receiving the text of a speech the he is going to do on the world fight against hunger. In the face of minister Celso Amorim and the employees of the Planalto Palace and the Itamaraty (foreign affairs), president fast reads the papers and throw it some meters away. - "Ram this speech into your asses, damn! It is not that I want, fuck! I am not going to read this shit. I want you all to go fuck yourselves. Change this , fast!"